As a child and youth, I was raised in the conservative, patriarchal Mormon church. 

But … I grew up in an abortion clinic. 

And … that’s where I became a priestess. 

A priestess of transitions who walks the edge.

 

A woman who, for nearly 20 years, stood at the crossroads, holding space for the veils between life and death—for rebirth and renewal, for liberation and freedom—to open.

 

A woman who became a professional secret keeper and honored the stories of thousands who made the choice to walk their unique pathway in life—while fully trusting them to do so. 

 

A woman who stood next to a person during their abortion, showing them how to breathe, to ground, to release, to have reverence for every part of their experience. 

 

There were times that grief swallowed the room. 

 

There were times that fear encompassed the body of a client, shaking uncontrollably—especially when they had past experiences of control being ripped from their body.  

 

There were times when it was quiet, still, peaceful. 

 

There were times of humbling joy and gratitude. 

 

ABORTION IS A RITE OF PASSAGE

…It’s about choosing your path. 

 

…It’s about having the freedom to discern what your fullest expression of life is, in that moment. 

 

Because of this, abortion will never end—whether legal in some places or not. 

 

After counseling hundreds, if not a thousand women over the years, I’ve learned that abortion marks a powerful life transition. 

 

At the most basic, primordial level, each of us has a soul journey, a purpose. 

 

We’ll face challenges many times—challenges that make it profoundly difficult for us to remember our path … or challenges that painfully show us we’re “off track.”

 

Pregnancy, for some, can become one of those challenges. 

An initiation. 

A rite of passage.

 

…You’re faced with a decision. 

 

Do you continue an unwanted (or wanted) pregnancy and walk down a road filled with unknowns … when every part of your being is telling you “no” … or do you make a choice to terminate it, thus determining your personal fate. 

 

It’s often a profound time of self-reflection, where one attunes to the path they’re on and chooses what is the “right” for them, right then.

 

This part of the rite of passage is deeply personal. 

 

The questions one asks isn’t only about finances, healthy relationships, goals, and capacity to be pregnant or a parent, but also esoteric (spiritual), like: 

 

What do I desire? 

Am I on track with my purpose? 

Is this pregnancy what I truly yearn for my life, at this time? 

Is this something I can accept, with ease? 

Is my soul ready for this?

What does my body want?

What does my heart want … now? 

 

 

ABORTION IS SACRED

It’s hallowed ground—whether you think so or not … whether you “agree” with abortion or not. 

 

It takes courage, conviction, and self-empowerment to make this choice—even when it’s the clear, necessary one. 

 

As women, we’re indoctrinated to put others before ourselves. It can be incredibly difficult, even painful, to include ourselves in what’s best for our bodies and our well-being when making decisions. 

 

Let me be clear: Those who were mothers that chose abortion always, always, always considered the lives of their living children and what was best for them, too. 

 

So, when we ultimately decide anything that feels true and best for ourselves, it is sacred. 

 

If you go to a “good” clinic or physician, then the staff and doctor will communicate and treat you with honor, compassion, and deep respect. 

 

This is because even though they won’t use words like “holy” and “sacred” with you, they recognize your strength and that choosing abortion is powerful. 

 

Why? Because you’re a woman, claiming yourself, with dignity. 

 

PRIESTESS TRAINING AT THE ABORTION CLINIC 

While I had many different roles over the years working in reproductive health, the one I loved the most was what was called “an advocate.” 

I was the one the doctors would request to be in the exam room, to intensely hold space just for the client—not as a medical assistant—when circumstances were especially difficult or complex… 

…the client who was alone.

…the client who was 12 years old.

…the client who had been raped.

…the client without medication or painkillers.

…the client who had a panic attack.

…the client whose heart was broken because it was a deeply wanted pregnancy, but for medical reasons, couldn’t continue. 

 

Before entering the room, I’d intuitively stand alone for a few moments and take deep breaths, collecting all parts of myself, so I could become fully present for the client on the other side of the door, waiting, vulnerably lying on the exam table. 

 

This wasn’t part of my training as an abortion counselor or even, eventually, as the manager of an abortion clinic. 

 

It also wasn’t part of my spiritual training. 

 

It would be many years before I even knew what a priestess was, let alone consciously understand and then train in concepts like energy work, bodywork, or breathwork. 

 

But, love was my religion and the clients—even the abortion clinic itself—were my teachers, my guides, my ministers. 

 

Through them, I knew that my medicine, my “job,” was to be intensely, lovingly present … so that the client could be fully present—to all of it, to everything they felt, no matter how relieving, painful, or both.

 

We’d hold hands. 

I’d show them how to breathe. 

 

My purpose was to witness and guide them while one part of their life ended … and another part continued, so that it could be reborn. 

 

It’s what Medicine Women have always done. 

It’s what Priestesses have always done. 

It’s how women—throughout all history—have supported one another.   

 

And this will continue as long as those with a uterus are able to become pregnant.

 

ABORTION CLINICS ARE TEMPLES 

When we had physical temples to the Goddess, they were places of healing. 

 

Priestesses were trained to tend the sick, the dying, and those bearing scars—returning from war. 

 

We held rites of passage, ceremonies, and oracle—for humans, for all animals, for the earth.

We provided comfort, guidance, and unconditional love.   

We attended and midwifed births, abortions, miscarriages, death. 

 

Temples were the center of the community and provided social, mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical support.

 

Like a hospice, like a birthing center, abortion care and abortion clinics are sacred. 

 

I believe abortion clinics are essentially modern-day temples, because it’s a place where women can be whole unto themselves and receive the medical and emotional care they either need or request—without judgment, but with skill and attentiveness.  

 

The abortion clinic and all of the clients we served became the foundation for what would later be my priestess training. 

 

These are the divine feminine/priestess qualities I acquired there: 

• Acute reverence & respect for all life
• Compassionate empathy
• Non-judgment
• Fearless capacity to hold intense space & guide others through the cycles of life & death 
• Honor & trust the stories, the choices of others
• Energy & breathwork
• Body wisdom 
• Comfort with the discomfort, with taboo, with stigma, with grief, with rage, with extremes—and stay present, in love, in service, through all of it 
• Ability to live with physical threats of danger (from protesters & terrorists who’d bomb or shoot up our clinics and murder our staff/doctors)
• Fierce advocacy for the innate wholeness of women
• Ability to see the interconnection of all living things, systems, people, life—because abortion touches on all of these (because when women are given the respect of being seen in their wholeness, the world thrives; when they are not, the world suffers) 

 

 

WHEN WOMEN ARE SEEN IN THEIR POWERFUL WHOLENESS, THE WORLD THRIVES

WHEN THEY AREN’T, THE WORLD SUFFERS

There’s so much more I want to tell you. 

…like how access to safe, legal abortion saves lives. 

 

Yes, it’s, in part, about the very personal autonomy over one’s own body. 

And the right to choose. 

And the importance of trusting women. 

 

It also, also, also, also is about familial, local, regional, national, and global health and security. 

 

It’s also about global economic health (because women are the primary workforce around the world).

 

It’s also about social and mental health of families and communities impacted by unwanted/uncared for children or orphaned children … because mothers will, and do, die from unsafe abortions. 

 

This impacts poverty, crime, drugs, mental health, education, physical health … the wholeness, the humanness of a person. Of all systems. Of all “issues” that there are. 

 

Every.Single.One.Is.Impacted.

Because: Women are at the center of them all. 

 

When we lose sight of this, the soul of the world suffers.

Every individual suffers. 

 

There’s a big picture here, too, folks—which will have a butterfly effect on everyone … and that’s just a fact … whether you “agree” with abortion or not. 

 

Because: Abortion will never end. 

 

Women, and those with a uterus, will risk their lives to end a pregnancy because they want to walk their path and live life on their terms.  

 

This has always happened, it’s happening now, and will continue to happen. 

 

Abortion across many parts of the globe is stigmatized, taboo. Yet, it prevails–even when illegal. Even when unsafe. 

 

Know This: There are only 14 countries in the world that have a total ban on abortion; the U.S. could be listed, sort-of, as a 15th country (except that states have the power to determine their individual laws around abortion access).

Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Iran, and Ethiopia, as a whole, have less restrictive laws than the U.S., now, in theory. (Source)

 

Though Roe v Wade has been overturned in the United States (this has been in the making for many, many years—but the cries for help to ensure our laws were protected have repeatedly fallen upon deaf ears), let me tell you how this is going to go down:

 

• They’ll travel, if they have the resources, to other states or countries. 
• They’ll create underground networks for resources.
• They’ll find “back alley” doctors willing to do abortions—like they did before (many, many women died as a result and women will die again).
• They’ll learn about herbs that were traditionally used as abortifacients—whether safe or not.
• They’ll look to other countries with highly restrictive abortion laws and see how pregnancy is ended there (FYI: the United States is only one of four countries, in the past 25+ years, who has removed protection/rights around abortion.)
• They’ll go on boats upon international waters and have abortions.
• They’ll throw themselves down stairs, insert coat hangers, an IUD, or do just about anything else they can to have control over their bodies and end a pregnancy.
• The rich (especially rich, white women) will likely be able to obtain safe, legal abortions elsewhere, while those who are marginalized (race, rural, poverty, disabled, etc.) will not. 

 

…It’s always been this way.

It’s this way now!

It’s harrowing, sad, and disheartening.

 

 

AS I WRITTE THIS, I SEE THE FACES, THE HANDS OF SO MANY WOMEN

ALL THE WOMEN…

…Oh, the stories I could tell. 

 

But, they’re not my stories. 

 

Yet, I will help carry them.

 

I will honor them as holy, as sacred. 

I will give thanks to the abortion doctors, staff, and clinics. 

I will give thanks to those who work in policy and help fight for access to reproductive freedom. 

 

I will honor all of our ancestors—the many who have had abortions themselves—who paved the way for each of us to be here, to stand in our freedom, to remember woman as whole and holy.

 

I thank the clinic, the staff, the clients for being my teachers.

 

Let us all give gratitude.